You're not alone

To be honest,I'm quite scared of not imagening once again the smell of he's perfume.Of he's natural perfume.That smell of ''Oh,yes,I just dropped out of the shower'' 

It's creepy how deep can someone fall in love with just a sigh.In just one month,my life changed quickly.If someone,one month ago,would've told me all this was going to happen,I'd never believe it.And of course,I regret at times meeting him,going in that room and being nice to him.All happend someday in the first week of August,probably mid-week..

I was very bored and I don't know how,I discoverd this chat..Tinychat (I think it was because J.mC told me and I decided for once be myself with other people)I went inside,after doing a ponytail to my horrible hair and with my jammies,there I was.In a JB's chatroom(I don't even like JB but it was were all the youngsters where so I went inside) There he was,bored,on cam,smiling..As now-a-days usually.I droped a Hi he said Hey and everything started like this.After 1 hour I think,he left,he had too,that's what he said..I so wanted he's e-mail,he's facebook..I wanted to talk to him again.He said I shouldn't worry,he'd be on tomorrow,in the same room..Guess what?He wasn't..But he was the next day and he gave me he's skype!When he left I was inteligent enough to ask him for sometype of comunication with him.He said he had Skype and that we could talk through there and now..30 August,here I am,still,in deep deep love with him.He says he loves me but..bleh..like..I'm sure he doesn't,he just likes me a little bit.At times,it's hard for me to trust someone because I know what it's like to be the ''other one''.I've been in he's position..We all have..Replying because you ''have to'',something inside you has to,you can't tell the person to **** off..Oops! **duck off**!!

What hurts the most,are the lies,and probably the distance..No,probably my jelousness (or however you say this) Maybe the time,like..I live in the other corner of the world.And now I understand it when people post on twitter..*d*uck distance..Now Iunderstand when other guys loved me online what they felt and how I didn't care..I feel quite guilty.

Now,even though I know it's not him,I smell that male-perfumed air comming inside my window...What perfume will it be? I want it so badly,maybe it's not the one he uses..Maybe it's not even perfume(deodorant? whatever!) Idon't know,but when I look out my window there's no one there..After all,maybe him and me aren't..you know..the destiny doesn't want us together..Maybe the destiny wants,it's him that doesn't want.It feels as if he didn't want to talk to me most of the times..As if,he was watching a youtube video and the skype pop-out said that ''that girl'' is saying Hi!! again..''APHT...¬¬¬'' I have to reply!!!?,again?!'' 

Then,my biggest error comes here,being a drama queen,jelouse *du*itch boss from hell..when we're not even going out..and I'm sure we'll never go out,because of the distance.I hope he doesn't care about the distance and we'll go out,and 5 months later,my parents will take me to the United States to meet him.But of course,if I don't ask them,they'll never take me..not to ''Cowboy land'' as my friends call the place where he lives.Like,my friend and I always call him Cowboy because he lives in T_** _ **_ **_ (pretty clear where that is?!) 

And what hurts the most,our song.Well,the songs he sended to me once..

ADTR - You had me at hello 

&'

Bruno Mars - Just the way you are (That made me blush and the first one made me nearly cry!! :$)

Well,I sended him:

TRJA - Your guardian Angel

I'm like that..You'dve sended 2 songs instead of just 1!! I'm dumb.I think Drama makes him not love me..and that I'm ugly and horrible and fat and everything..

I WISH I WAS PRETTY!! WILL SOMEDAY GOD HEAR ME?!

(Can't the picture be more more more little?!!!!)

Well,I'm very ugly as you can see in the following picture in your left <- Hopefully in your left.. 

And he is the prettiest boy in this earth,for me.He's hair is dark brown,curly (though he straights it!) and he's eyes,are brown but they stab me when he looks..And he's smile,shines..Like the sun and like the moon all together.He's shirts make me laugh and the faces he pulls to make me laugh,also make me smile..

After all,I'm sure he's the most precious memory I have till' the day.My mom just came in,same conversation as always (Girl,go to sleep eh!?,Mom kiss C:!,-kiss- What are you doing?, Blog,music and skype,Okay,don't go late to sleep [she knows I'll go late to sleep eitherways!!!!!!]

That's another thing,I've stayed up until 7:30 am for him..like..I'm sick.(-sings- sick of loveee!!) Okay,I should relax,but I don't mind staying up late,at least we chat..And he's brother's manboobs are so funny..He's turtle,cutest thing ever..I could talk about him until my fingers drop and my nose too.And my foot fingers (yes! Foot fingers, **D**UCKYEAH!)

I could say how amazing he is and how lucky I was to meet him,and tomorrow I'll say how he left me and met a blonde hot chick,and that's what probably will happen someday,and here am I..me and my broken heart.. 

By the way,I'm Itziar,call me Izzy.It might seem easier since it's a name from my country and yes..I live very very very far away from the United States..

asadsad D:

[28/08/2011 20:37:21] Itchi: NOPE

[28/08/2011 20:40:38] Itchi: :3

[28/08/2011 20:51:15] Itchi: ''Two teardrops in the sea and when they crashed the woke up the hurricane they felt inside'' o,o

[28/08/2011 21:01:27] Itchi: I don't believe in love anymore 3:

[28/08/2011 21:01:50] *******: why not

[28/08/2011 21:01:56] Itchi: 101% pain x3

[28/08/2011 21:02:04] Itchi: Worthless pain <I3

[28/08/2011 21:02:37] ***********: D:

[28/08/2011 21:02:42] Itchi: I mean look at you

[28/08/2011 21:02:46] Itchi: Ive been loving you since evr

[28/08/2011 21:02:48] Itchi: and for what?

[28/08/2011 21:02:57] Itchi: I was just thinking about it,and it's worthless

[28/08/2011 21:03:06] Itchi: Cause youll never love me back like I do

[28/08/2011 21:03:08] Itchi: so..

[28/08/2011 21:03:10] Itchi: yh -.-

[28/08/2011 21:03:12] Itchi: x3

[28/08/2011 21:08:19] Itchi: So thats why all I hear in my ipod is you had me at hello

[28/08/2011 21:08:21] Itchi: x3

[28/08/2011 21:10:37] A*****: :O

[28/08/2011 21:10:46] Itchi: love = hurts x.x

[28/08/2011 21:10:46] A**************: but i do love you -w-

[28/08/2011 21:11:07] Itchi: not like i love you :3

[28/08/2011 21:12:28] Itchi: But I cant make you love me

[28/08/2011 21:12:36] Itchi: -So,idk what to do

[28/08/2011 21:13:54] A*******: u dont ave to make me -w- i already do?

[28/08/2011 21:14:21] Itchi: I love you like,I'd make you my bf = _ = '''

[28/08/2011 21:14:26] Itchi: You love me like

[28/08/2011 21:14:31] Itchi: OH WIFEY <3

[28/08/2011 21:14:33] Itchi: Joking

[28/08/2011 21:14:42] A***: -w-

[28/08/2011 21:14:52] Itchi: :/ see

[28/08/2011 21:14:57] A************: i'd make u my gf .

[28/08/2011 21:15:08] Itchi: in my dreams - n -

[28/08/2011 21:15:17] A************: nuu

[28/08/2011 21:15:36] A**********: D:

[28/08/2011 21:18:21] Itchi: yeah

[28/08/2011 21:19:01] A***********: no

[28/08/2011 21:19:02] A*******: id go out with u -w-

[28/08/2011 21:19:13] Itchi: you'd go out with any hot chick

[28/08/2011 21:19:17] Itchi: blonde with hair coloured

[28/08/2011 21:19:18] Itchi: and

[28/08/2011 21:19:19] Itchi: with cool clothes

[28/08/2011 21:19:21] Itchi: and..

[28/08/2011 21:19:25] Itchi: hot!

[28/08/2011 21:19:26] Itchi: and

[28/08/2011 21:19:32] A***********: i prefer black- brown hair tbh

[28/08/2011 21:19:33] Itchi: that loves all the bands you do

[28/08/2011 21:19:33] A******: -w-

[28/08/2011 21:19:36] Itchi: and

[28/08/2011 21:19:39] Itchi: idk

[28/08/2011 21:19:41] Itchi: o,o

[28/08/2011 21:19:42] Itchi: lol

[28/08/2011 21:19:47] A*********: nu

[28/08/2011 21:19:49] Itchi: my hair is brown -.- shit brown x3

[28/08/2011 21:19:50] Itchi: and

[28/08/2011 21:19:58] Itchi: that speaks proper english 0,o

[28/08/2011 21:19:58] Itchi: XD

[28/08/2011 21:20:16] A******: stop

[28/08/2011 21:20:21] A************: ud go out with any guy

[28/08/2011 21:20:23] A***********: thats hot

[28/08/2011 21:20:28] A***********: -w-

[28/08/2011 21:20:29] A*********: and french

[28/08/2011 21:20:38] A*********: or with yogurt

[28/08/2011 21:20:39] A************: D:

[28/08/2011 21:20:46] Itchi: french? o,o df?

[28/08/2011 21:20:49] A*********: or speaks spanish

[28/08/2011 21:20:50] A************: D:

[28/08/2011 21:20:56] Itchi: WHY FRENCH!?

[28/08/2011 21:21:00] A*******: x)

[28/08/2011 21:21:06] Itchi: xd

[28/08/2011 21:21:14] Itchi: Ugh,spanish guys are horrible

[28/08/2011 21:21:20] Itchi: We need american dudes here <3

[28/08/2011 21:21:28] A**********: m

[28/08/2011 21:21:32] A***********: me

[28/08/2011 21:21:33] A*************: :3

[28/08/2011 21:22:22] Itchi: Not you,you are mine

[28/08/2011 21:22:25] Itchi: x3

[28/08/2011 21:22:33] Itchi: All the girls in spain would.. LOVE YOU

[28/08/2011 21:22:34] Itchi: O,o

[28/08/2011 21:22:39] Itchi: girls in here are bitches -.-

[28/08/2011 21:23:26] Itchi: not me o,o

[28/08/2011 21:24:07] A********: no

[28/08/2011 21:24:12] A*****: spain girls wud hae me

[28/08/2011 21:24:13] Itchi: YES

[28/08/2011 21:24:13] A*******: D:

[28/08/2011 21:24:14] A***************: like u

[28/08/2011 21:24:16] Itchi: o,o

[28/08/2011 21:24:16] A********: :C

[28/08/2011 21:24:18] Itchi: I dont hate you

[28/08/2011 21:24:19] Itchi: I'm an evil besh

[28/08/2011 21:24:21] Itchi: <3

[28/08/2011 21:24:37] A*************: noo

[28/08/2011 21:25:54] Itchi: :3

[28/08/2011 21:25:59] Itchi: So  as  I was saying

[28/08/2011 21:26:03] Itchi: You'd rather

[28/08/2011 21:26:05] Itchi: A girl with blue eyes

[28/08/2011 21:26:08] Itchi: big booobs

[28/08/2011 21:26:10] Itchi: and

[28/08/2011 21:26:16] Itchi: that speaks english properly

[28/08/2011 21:26:22] Itchi: that had cute clothes :3

[28/08/2011 21:26:27] Itchi: and could install a manycam

[28/08/2011 21:26:28] Itchi: XD

[28/08/2011 21:27:21] Itchi: and you are hot O_o

[28/08/2011 21:27:28] Itchi: -slapsyou-

[28/08/2011 21:27:31] Itchi: How you dare saying you aint hot!

[28/08/2011 21:28:10] A***********: O_ O

[28/08/2011 21:28:18] Itchi: :3

[28/08/2011 21:28:18] A********: i like broken english and accent :3

[28/08/2011 21:28:31] Itchi: o,o

[28/08/2011 21:28:38] Itchi: How can you like broken english accent? -.-

[28/08/2011 21:28:44] A***********: idk

[28/08/2011 21:28:46] A*********** :P

[28/08/2011 21:28:49] A*************: i think its cute

[28/08/2011 21:28:49] A*************: -w-

[28/08/2011 21:28:58] Itchi: You'd like someone cute!

[28/08/2011 21:29:02] Itchi: And,and

[28/08/2011 21:29:07] Itchi: o,o

[28/08/2011 21:29:13] Itchi: That had a good mic!

[28/08/2011 21:29:16] Itchi: :3

[28/08/2011 21:29:18] Itchi: That could draw good

[28/08/2011 21:29:20] Itchi: IDK!

[28/08/2011 21:29:21] Itchi: D;

[28/08/2011 21:29:22] A******* *****: like you

[28/08/2011 21:29:24] A******* *****: <o<

[28/08/2011 21:29:26] Itchi: You're leaving me without ideas

[28/08/2011 21:29:28] Itchi: =_=

[28/08/2011 21:29:56] Itchi: -Bangs my head with the wall-

[28/08/2011 21:30:03] Itchi: I KNOW!

[28/08/2011 21:30:25] Itchi: YOU'D LIKE SOMEONE AMAZINGLY HOT SO YOU COULD HARDCORE FAP O_O''!

[28/08/2011 21:30:31] Itchi: XD

[28/08/2011 21:30:41] A********  ****: O _O

[28/08/2011 21:30:47] A********* ****: howd u know

[28/08/2011 21:30:47] A******** *****: D:

[28/08/2011 21:31:04] Itchi: and now,you are smiling with that cute smile of yours

[28/08/2011 21:31:06] Itchi: that i love

[28/08/2011 21:31:08] Itchi: P:

[28/08/2011 21:31:08] A******* *****: hahaha

[28/08/2011 21:31:12] A******* *****: :P

[28/08/2011 21:31:16] Itchi: Am I wrong? x3

[28/08/2011 21:31:19] A******* *****: no

[28/08/2011 21:31:19] A******* ******: :C

[28/08/2011 21:31:26] Itchi: :3

I had to add ****** to he's name and he's nickname on Skype,just incase he doesn't want to say his name on my blog? Idk..I'm being responsable..

kkthankiesbaix**

♥ Izzy 

Izzy

Izzy